Update:
Well, I just got off the phone with boy. Apparently the reason he didn't call yesterday was because he had wound up partying at a friend's house on Saturday night til late and had slept over, not waking until the late hours of the afternoon. By the time he got home he figured that I had already given up on him and decided not to call. I assume his conscience got the best of him today, and as I checked the identiCall on my cordless phone, my faith in men was ever so slightly restored.
He apologised for being a jerk and I accepted it. But I also told him that I wasn't really interested in starting anything right now. It was a conversation we most likely would have had yesterday if he had called, but it was better late than never I suppose. He said his thinking was much along the same lines, which I was happy to hear.
So there it is, all tied up in a neat little package. Another romantic saga begun and ended in the span of seven measily little days.
Well, that was fun.
A day of self-reflection...
Had a weird day today. I'm not sure if it's because of hormonal imbalances (pretaining to certain female-related issues) or if it's just that I've been doing more of what I promised myself I would do this year: reflecting. Something happened today that would have normally rendered me horribly upset, panicking and doubting who and what I am as a person, but it didn't. And it's the fact that it didn't that's made me really happy to be me.
He didn't call. He was supposed to call, and he didn't. "He," for those of you who don't know, is a guy I met at a party last weekend. We'd both had a little much to drink, and as is usually the case with a dose of alcohol-endused courage, the two of of us went from polite hello's and how-do-you-do's to a lengthy and fairly engrosing conversation. Numbers were exchanged, more conversation had, and a tentitive plan made to get together today.
But he didn't call.
Now, this is not the end of the world. Minds change, instincts kick in, shit happens. But what suprised me most about this whole thing is that I really didn't care! What's more, as the day wore on I began to hope he
wouldn't call!
You see, the truth is I don't WANT a boyfriend. It was simply that the opportunity for companionship presented itself and in a naturally instinctive we-were-put-on-this-planet-to-find-a-suitable-mate-and-procreate fashion, I accepted it. I should have known this was how I felt the minute I stepped out the door after that party. He was staying overnight at Rebecca's and I had also made plans to, but after only two hours sleep, I snuck out at the crack of dawn in what I can only describe was an overwhelming need to get the hell out of there. If I had really wanted to spend more time with this person, would I have really spent $27 for a cab-ride at 6 a.m. instead of staying and going out for a nice breakfast with a cute boy and some fellow j-schoolers?
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with this boy. He's smart, insightful, and cute as hell (great smile!), but it just wasn't right. I couldn't even tell you why.
I don't know, maybe I really am that horribly insecure, terrified-of-commitment-type of girl I've secretly always dreaded I am, but I'm not so sure of it yet. They say that you have to love yourself before you can truely love another, and I think the real problem is that I'm still stuck on that first part. Sure, I have confidence in myself and in my abilities. I know I'm a good person (modest too!:P) and the truth is that I
like myself very much, but it doesn't go much further than that. There's still a lot of work yet to be done, and I just don't have enough energy to get to know an entirely new person when I'm still getting to know myself.
So there it is folks, the confessions of a twenty-one year old girl who hasn't quite got it figured out yet. Buy hey, listen: if you have all the answers, keep them to yourself, alright? I want to get this one on my own.
Bah! What a week!
Alright, well radio is officially the bane of my existence. Yes, TV may have been more complicated, more time consuming and definitely more equipment, but at least if you started early in the week you at least had a hope in HELL of getting through a story without massive amounts of stress. Not so for my friend radio. Actually, it's not really the medium that's the problem...it's the message (a little shout out to all those McLuhan fans out there!). Here, if you don't get what I'm talking about, take a look at
this, it's the report on my prof from ratemyprofessors.com (a very interesting site for those with spare time on their hands!). Anyway, it basically confirms my worst suspicions: it's not just me, she's horrible. She works full time for the CBC, and for some reason that makes her unable to understand why some of us may not want to work for the CBC or even (*gasp!*) not want to work in radio! Her standards are set way too high for first-time radio j-schoolers who are already stressed to the max, and her instructions are about as clear as a stained glass window.
Anyway, as long as my source from the Jewish Students Association shows up tomorrow I should be just fine for my story on the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. If not, well I get to scramble over to Ottawa U to yell at their headquarters...oh fun.
Looking forward to good friends and foreign films on Friday...
G'night.
Finding Neverland...GO NOW!
Hey Guys,
It's late, I have an 8:30 a.m. class tomorrow and I've been writing a C.A.R. report for the last four hours, but I just have to say one thing before I go collapse in my bed:
Go see Finding Neverland.
I'm telling you...I went to see it tonight with my mom as a belated birthday present and I absolutely loved it. Warning: it's really sad (like, I was actually heaving with sobs I was crying so much) but so touching and so magical. Yes, it's Peter Pan and we all know the story, but this really isn't about that. Not directly anyway. It's about how J.M Barrie was inspired to write it, and the movie in turn inspires you to stay young at heart forever. Johnny Depp is awesome, as usual, but the hands-down best performance in a movie filled with A-list stars (Depp, Kate Winslet, Julie Christie and Dustan Hoffman) is none other than Peter himself, the young boy who inspired the famous character in Barrie's play. The actor's name is Freddie Highmore and if this kid doesn't get nominated for an Oscar I'm going to Hollywood to kick their asses myself. He's absolutely adorable to look at and has so much talent it's practically dripping from him:
Alright, I'm off to bed, but do yourselves a favour and rush to see this movie. It probably won't be in theatres much longer (we had to go out to SilverCity to see it) but rent it when it comes out...or better yet come over to my house and watch it with me, cuz I'll have bought it the second it hits the shelves.
G'night :)
Hilllllarious!
BTW: for those of you who may have read my blog in the few minutes directly after I posted probably didn't see the nice sweet pic of Ewan McGregor I have up there now. The site I originally took a picture from warned me not to take pictures from their collection, but I ignored them and I must say I was very much punished for it! If you go to this site (I'm not posting the URL because I don't want to advertise a site that's too bloody pompous to share its pictures with people...NEWS FLASH: IF YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO TAKE YOUR PICTURES, MAYBE TRY NOT PUTTING THEM ON THE
INTERNET...MORON!!). Anyway, if you try to link a pic, instead of getting a sweet lovely picture of Ewan nicely punctuating your blog, you get this:
yummy...
Scored some MAJOR granddaughter points this weekend!
My duties as a granddaughter have absoLUTEly been filled...for a little while at least. I spent an unbelievably overdue night with my grandmother last night, chatting, eating and watching a movie. My grandma has her quirks, but on the whole she's a pretty neat lady. I like talking with her especially about her travels, since she's been to a lot of the places that are on my "go to" list.
So check it out: I decide that I have recently become severely lax when it comes to scheduling grandma-time, and with her birthday coming up this is my chance to make up for it. So I call her earlier this week and ask her what she's up to Friday night, cuz I'd like to visit and spend the night. Doing this scores me points because I called HER (one) and I'm letting her know I'll be giving up my Friday night, which is usually reserved for friends, to spend time with her (two...Actually that's worth two. Total score: 3). She says she's free, so before work on Friday I pack a bag so that I can head straight over after work to pack in as much grandma-time as possible (score: 4).
THEN, on my way over after work I pick up a nice sappy birthday card (5), a movie I think she'd like (6) and her favourite bottle of wine: Jackson-Triggs dry reisling (7...8 :D), and I head over to see her. We sit down, chat about pretty well every subject under the sun and enjoy a simple, leisurely dinner (with the wine I brought...Which was, of course, chilled! Total score: 9). After clean-up we get into our pajamas and throw on the movie. Title: Moulin Rouge. Now, you'd think that watching a movie about a bordello with your soon-to-be 79 yr old grandmother would be weird, but you guys don't know my grandma...She's just that cool. As an artist she absolutely loves bright, vibrant colours, which this movie has in spades. Also, it's a musical full of music that I knew she'd recognize (she's not one of those grandma's who grew up listening to Frank Sinatra and assumes that every piece of music made after the 1940s is complete crap...Like I said, she's cool) Most of all, it's about France, her most favouritest country in the whole world. She spent a couple of weeks in Montmatre last time she was there, and actually went inside the Moulin Rouge, so she recognized a lot in the movie. And besides...It has E-wan in it, and who wouldn't like this face:
Rowr...
So yea, all in all the night was a total birthday-success! Woohoo, I rule!
In other news: DID YOU SEE LOST ON WEDNESDAY?? HOLY FREAKIN' COW! Hallucinogenic paste, quasi-incest, another (sort of) appearance by the giant mysterious monster, and get this: Sayid and SHANNON are getting chummy...Wow what an episode. Can't wait for this Wed., which I think is going to be all about Michael and Walt, which is really cool cuz we haven't heard anything from them yet.
It was also a big week for my other favourite show: Law and Order. McCoy has outlasted yet another ADA, as Serena was canned by the DA for being to emotional when they try to convict innocent people. Granted, she had no actual PROOF the guy was innocent, and she spent most of the episode screaming her face off because of a 'hunch' (that turned out to be right), but I guess it was time for another cast-change anyway...I mean it's been the same group for almost six months now :P Serena also confessed to being a lesbian, so I think she gonna turn around and sue for wrongful termination since the DA is a Texas yahoo...Should be interesting in any case. I hope the next ADA is better. Personally I wish they'd just bring Abbie Carmichael back...She was the best ADA ever.
Alright, enough of this for one night...gotta go watch a 6-foot demonic bunny rabbit tell Jake Gyllenhaal to burn things. Tah!
Hello my name is Megan, and I can drive a car.
I DID IT!! I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT!!
You are now reading the blog of an (almost) fully licensed operator of an automobile! Woohoo, I got my G2!!
Ok guys, don’t be mad that I didn’t tell you I was taking the test. It’s just that last time I felt so rotten after I failed and it was only compounded when I got 30 excited phone calls asking “did you get it???” I figured I’d keep it on the DL this time ‘round, and then if I got it we could celebrate :D Which we SHOULD! I’ll dive! Any takers to get behind the wheel with me?? Haha…didn’t think so :P
Now I just have to learn how to drive standard so that I can zip around in my mom’s little Echo. Now THAT’S gonna be funny!! If anyone sees a little red car stalled on Carling Ave., please don’t point and laugh…that’s just me.
What? Clutch? Oh…that thing.
P.S. IIIIIIIII DID IT! Yay me :D
School...bah
It had to happen eventually...As soon as I had finished exams I knew that at some point I was going to have to back to school. All in all today went fairly well though. I got a welcome surprise in my Mass Com class this morning when Prof. Dorland, whom I had last semester, reappeared, saying that the prof who was supposed to take over the class went on sick-leave, so we're going to have him for another semester. I didn't particularly care for Prof. Dorland last semester, at least as far as teaching styles are concerned, but I did like his attitude towards the makeup of the course. The first order of business was to again declare 8:30 a.m. an ungodly hour for anyone to learn, and moved the class back to 9...sweeeeeeet. Second was to announce that he would be continuing to use the same textbook as last semester, meaning I don't have to fork over another $80 for a book I'm probably only going to open twice, right before the exam...double sweeeeeeet. Lastly I'm just glad to have him back because even though I'm not really compatible with his teaching style, at least it's familiar and I know what to expect from the semester and, more importantly, from the exam. Très sweeeeeeeet.
Of course in the usual first-day-back fashion, class was only an hour long, so I was out of there by 9:30 with nothing on the horizon for the 5 hour break I now had before my 2:30 j-school class. I decided the best thing would be to go home and go back to sleep, which I did, followed by some exercise and then food.
J-school class #1 was OK. For the next four weeks I'll be doing C.A.R. (computer assisted reporting) which, again, I have no real affection for, but am not unhappy to have. See, as boring and monotonous as this class will most likely be, I don't actually have to write any stories, which means no panicking while waiting for sources to get back to you, no chasing government officials around the city, and best of all, no realizing two hours before your deadline that you have no story. Yea...I'll be having enough of that in radio broadcasting to do me for the next little while I expect.
But enough about school, I also did other fabulously unproductive things today...most of which involved sitting in front of the TV and squealing. A new episode of Lost aired tonight, the first one in about three weeks I think. Lost is an awesome show, but I'd have to say this episode kind of blew...I was hoping for something better after such a long hiatus. Plus the fact that Clare is still out there missing and no one seems to care except Boone and Locke. I mean, what happened to Jack's raging "this-is-all-my-fault-I-have-to-find-her-even-if-it-kills-me" thing? It was like they found Charlie (which I am definitely NOT complaining about, let me tell you!) and then just decided that one-outta-two ain't bad and that those crazy Canuks would undoubtedly let her go sooner or later. I mean sure, the whole thing with Kate and the briefcase was kinda cool, but it's nothing we didn't know already. FIND CLARE PEOPLE!! Canadians are unpredictable!! The cold gets to their heads and they can do some pretty crazy shit! And the whole thing with Charlie and the crazy lady who thinks her husband's still alive, while it may have been touching for some, did absolutely nothing for me. In short: shape up people. AND FIND CLARE!
The other thing I did tonight was watch the last hour of ROTK: EE with my pop. We'd stopped after the battle at Pelennor Field last time, so I had yet to see the part I'd been waiting the most for: the Mouth of Sauron scene. Shelob now has competition for the CREEPIEST THING EVER!!! I mean LOOK:
Ok people: THAT'S CREEPY!
Ewwwwww...I can't even look at it. He was soooo evil, though I must say I busted a gut when Aragorn nonchalantly sidled up beside him and lobbed off his head (Gimli: "Well I guess that's the end of negotiations"...awesome!!). I watched the scene two more times after we'd finished watching the rest of the movie, and I just can't get over the creepiness. By far the best EE scene of any of the DVDs. Kudos PJ!
Alright, that's enough rambling for one night. I'm gonna hit the sac, though there's no real rush seeing as I don't have class until 11:30 tomorrow...soooo sweeeeeeeeeeeet!
G'night, and may all your Sauron's be mouthy...
WHAT?
New year, new semester, same old me!
Alright, here it is: the first official post of 2005. 2004 is now behind us and I say good riddance to bad rubbish. With the exception of an absolutely superb trip overseas with my buddy and a fairly awesome-yet-overwhelmingly-stressful j-school semester, this year was complete crap. I won't go into the details as that really defeats the purpose of starting a new year, but I will say that despite all the bad stuff that did occur throughout the last twelve months of my life, I do have a lot of hope for 2005.
I've decided that this will be year the year I get everything sorted out: my health, my lovelife, my future. Of course I can't hope to lose 30lbs, find a husband and get a career in the span of 365 meesely little days, but what would new year's be without of long list of well intentioned yet realistically impossible goals??
Here are the resolutions for 2005:
- Make exercise part of my daily routine (10-k in May hun?? Ooooookay...).
- Decide what I want to do after 4th-year (masters degree or no masters degree...THAT is the question!).
- Make a concerted effort to meet more people in my field and new people in general.
- Find a summer job where I will actually be happy (preferably one that also pays really well, but at this point the happiness factor is more important).
- Bring some form of music back into my life, whether it be vocal or instrumental.
- Learn a new sport.
- Write poetry.
- Read at least 5 books outside of school.
That's all the important ones I think. I have doubts that all these things will have been mastered by this time next year, but I will, as always, try my best. I also hope for support from friends and family to achieve these goals; as much as I want to support them in achieving their own. Some of these we can do together, but others will simply require giving myself a rather large kick in the posterior. I guess most of all I hope for the strength and will-power to go after the things that I want.
No doubts, no fear, no regrets.
Here's hopin'.
